“I’m proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me.” – Apple CEO Tim Cook discusses his sexual orientation publicly for the first time. I suppose I’d get more excited if I owned an iAnything. But as a PC devotee, the best I can muster up is “Welcome”.
It’s time to come clean. Many of you have been asking why I’ve spent more time than usual in Boston over the past year. I’ve had what turned out to be a series of surgeries on my shoulder. Since the bulk of my loved ones are in Boston (to say nothing of some of the best hospitals), it made sense to have the surgery done there. The biggest downside is that I’ve spent an endless amount of time in a sling – which reminds me of a weekend I once spent with Michael Brandon, but that’s another story.
Anytime I get to write about Nichelle Nichols, I’m in heaven….literally. The original Uhura was flying from Los Angeles to Providence where she was slated to appear at Rhode Island Comic Con. Nichelle was traveling with a blond guy who was described as her assistant (he’s also described as in his 20s – those were 20 hard years). Apparently, the duo’s carry-on bags went through X-ray without incident. While taking them off the belt, the contents of one bag fell to the ground, revealing what was described as “meth and drug scales”. Nichols was shocked – shocked, I tell you – and said the bag belonged to her buddy. But guess whose name was on the luggage tags? Yup – Nichelle Nichols! TSA ascertained that the rest of the contents did indeed belong to her male companion. The guy was placed on the ground and handcuffed while Nichelle was wheeled to her waiting plane. So, lemme get this straight – a famous old black woman in a wheelchair was traveling with someone carrying illegal drugs in a bag with her name on it, and she wasn’t Dionne Warwick?
Here’s an unsolved mystery: someone stole Hedwig’s wig! Near the end of the Broadway smash musical, Michael C. Hall (as Hedwig) rips off his wig and throws it to the ground as he does every night. However, after one show, the crew discovered that the wig was missing (cue that scary music from “Law & Order”). Producer David Binder said, “You do not mess with Hedwig’s wigs. That’s like Hedwig 101. I’m afraid for the poor person who did this because Hedwig will find you, hunt you down, and do unspeakable things to you.” Unless that wig has GPS, I wouldn’t be concerned. But I am kinda curious about these unspeakable things that Michael C. Hall might do. Is there a list of them anywhere? After seeing pics of him ending the show in only a pair of scanty rubber shorts, my mind is racing with possibilities. I’ll share that photo with you on BillyMasters.com.
Speaking of Hedwig, Neil Patrick Harris is returning to TV to host his own variety show. It will be based on the hugely popular (and veddy British) series, “Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway”, and will import a variety of key players from that show. This domestic version will be structured similar to its UK big brother, including a live studio audience, comedy sketches, musical numbers, games, and pranks. In announcing a commitment to 10 hour-long episodes, NBC’s president said, “This series will suit his extraordinary talents perfectly. He is a versatile and thrilling talent for us to welcome into the NBC family.” The thing I got out of that is NPH is versatile.
Lance Bass and fiancé Michael Turchin have set a date for their nuptials – December 20th. The ceremony will be filmed by E! for a special to air sometime around Valentine’s Day. While Bass’ ‘Nsync bandmates will be invited, there are no plans for the group to perform. “I think it’s a little cheesy if I sing at all at my wedding,” said Bass.
What Lance didn’t consider cheesy was posting a nude video of his betrothed. Well, if an underwear model was my fiancé, I’d insist he was naked at all times. The video shows Lance chasing Turchin into the bathroom, where the bare-a–ed beau is attempting to get into the shower. Where he’s running naked from we’ll leave to your imagination when you watch the vid on BillyMasters.com.
Many of you have sent in questions about Ben Affleck’s penis, which made its big screen debut in “Gone Girl”. But is this really the first time we’re seeing it? There are those who claim that the elusive Affleck Penis made a fleeting appearance in “Hollywoodland”. Perhaps….it’s hard to tell if that’s a penis or a fist (check it out on our website). Because I am devoted to you, my dear readers, I searched high and low and came up with the “Gone Girl” footage in question. There is indeed a fleeting glimpse of Ben’s penis. But I caution you – it’s sudden and shadowed. It’s also not a frontal view. I’d call it side penis. Kinda like side boob in all those photos of Lindsay Lohan in a tank top…but significantly less saggy. Check it out on BillyMasters.com.
When we’re featuring a pair of bare a–es (and then some), we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column. Of course, for even more dirt, you’ll have to check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that doesn’t hold anything back. Instead of answering one specific “Ask Billy” question, I took care of a group of you with Affleck’s penis (you’re welcome). As always, I’m here for your queries. Just send ’em along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Ben’s penis demands equal billing. So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.