“To me, it’s funny at this point. Whatever. It’s fine. It was very cold in the studio, by the way!” – Josh Duhamel addresses the full-frontal nude photos he did for Greg Gorman, which have recently resurfaced (we brought them to you way back in 2000 and will happily exhibit every inch of him again on BillyMasters.com). Something tells me the size of his manhood is not of much interest to Fergie.

 

I just arrived at my hotel room in what must continue to be referred to as an undisclosed Eastern European country – my presence could throw the G8 into disarray. As I was settling in, I heard a timid knock on my door. I opened it to reveal a boy straight out of the Bel Ami catalogue. “I am Luca,” he said (and I don’t believe he lives on the second floor or ever met Suzanne Vega). “You are Billy Masters?” he asks. Yes. He gives me a sheepish grin and says, “I am here for you,” and walks on in. Take it from me, kids – sometimes it happens just like in the movies.

“To me, it’s funny at this point. Whatever. It’s fine. It was very cold in the studio, by the way!” – Josh Duhamel addresses the full-frontal nude photos he did for Greg Gorman, which have recently resurfaced (we brought them to you way back in 2000 and will happily exhibit every inch of him again on BillyMasters.com). Something tells me the size of his manhood is not of much interest to Fergie.

I just arrived at my hotel room in what must continue to be referred to as an undisclosed Eastern European country – my presence could throw the G8 into disarray. As I was settling in, I heard a timid knock on my door. I opened it to reveal a boy straight out of the Bel Ami catalogue. “I am Luca,” he said (and I don’t believe he lives on the second floor or ever met Suzanne Vega). “You are Billy Masters?” he asks. Yes. He gives me a sheepish grin and says, “I am here for you,” and walks on in. Take it from me, kids – sometimes it happens just like in the movies.

Lots of things seem to be getting lost in translation. Remember the story about Ricky Martin coming out? At the time of the “TV Aqui” cover, I questioned the context of the disclosure that his heart could belong to a man or a woman. Lo and behold, our colleague Mike Szymanski got to the bottom of it. What Ricky said was, “The heart of Ricky Martin, if it belongs to a male or a female, I have never talked about it.” So, what he says is basically nothing.

Remember when I told you Simon Rex and Lance Bass were seen shooting some footage in WeHo? We now know what it was for. It was the pilot for the pseudo-reality show called “Rex” which opens with the following quote: “Simon Rex was a struggling actor when a controversial masturbation video was discovered which made him famous. He’s had no controversy like that since…and boy, could his career use one.” What it didn’t say was, “Thank you Billy Masters.” That was one of my first scoops and launched my career, while it was the highpoint of Simon’s. Rex is trying to come back and this show is all about trying to get people interested in him again. He’ll do anything – even be romantically linked with Lance. The show is funny and has some very good ideas. There’s just one problem – Simon Rex. How do I say this delicately…if you saw his jerk-off video, you saw his best work. He’s barely convincing playing himself! He is, however, surrounded by some fabulous people, including Paris Hilton, Jamie Pressley and Victor Garber. The pilot is actually stolen by Simon’s “controversy consultant.” Geoffrey Arend. Give THAT guy a show and I’d watch it.

Gay characters seem to be turning up more and more on primetime. Hayden Panettiere’s character on “Heroes” will show a side to her personality which might take some people by surprise. In an upcoming episode she will kiss her college roommate – and not just some little kiss, but a full-on romantic kiss. Rumor has it that this could be the start of more gal-gal action.
Speaking of rumors, Rumer Willis will be playing a lesbian on “90210.” Her character, Gia, will work on the school newspaper in a single episode. “90210” regular Annalynne McCord is actively campaigning for her character to have a tryst with Gia. “That is what I foresee. Naomi gets drunk, and she gets a little crazy. She wants to experiment. A little lip action with Rumer can’t hurt anyone, right?” Speak for yourself, Annalynne.

This week’s “Ask Billy” question comes from Mike in Milwaukee: “Hi Billy! Who is that African-American actor who went shirtless in the second season’s episode two of HBO’s ‘True Blood’? He has the hottest six (or even eight) pack I’ve ever seen. Damn, he’s hot!”
That would be sexy Mehcad Brooks, who you might have seen on “Dollhouse,” “The Game,” or “Ghost Whisperer”. His juiciest role prior to “True Blood” was his season on “Desperate Housewives” as Matthew Applewhite (he had a little “jungle fever” tryst with the daughter of Bree). In his personal life his hobby is collecting vintage issues of “Playboy,” which I know comes as somewhat of a disappointment to my readers. That said, he’s a tall drink of chocolate milk, measuring in at 6’3″ – no surprise he had a former career as a model. I have to agree that he’s ripped up his body for this “True Blood” role, and allegedly he’ll be showing even more in the future.
Speaking of buff bods, you know who doesn’t have one? Robert Pattinson. And who told you? Moi. And did you believe me? No. But now we can prove it. He recently did a photo shoot for “Us” magazine sporting an open shirt, and revealing not a drop of definition – which confirms my report that his abs were painted on for the upcoming “Twilight” sequel. Photos don’t lie – and you can see ’em on our website.

Could it be that a certain gay blade has shaved off one beard and grown another? It’s one thing to hang out with that friendly filly who has known her away around a queen or two. Now he’s clinging onto a more desperate dame who, if I’m not mistaken, never met a gay man she didn’t like. His undeniable charms have worked pretty well in the past – his breakthrough happened when he focused on a guy mentioned in this very column. That time, he landed a series. The only thing that could happen with this bitch is he’d shrink half a foot and lose all his hair!

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